


Corporate Affairs

by orphan_account



Category: Borderlands
Genre: AU, M/M, Workplace Relationship, rhack au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:41:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6076233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rhys finally got his chance to get the promotion he's always wanted, but as it happens, Handsome Jack, the multi-billionaire CEO of Hyperion, thinks he has a much better promotion for Rhys: his personal errand boy. Rhys prefers personal assistant but it's not up to Rhys now that he has to do everything Jack says every single day. And developing feelings for your long time idol and boss can certainly cause some problems in the workplace, especially when said idol and boss doesn't want to admit to developing feelings alongside his errand boy. </p>
<p>Rated E for later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Corporate Affairs

**Author's Note:**

> So I've had this AU in my head for quite some time now. It's by no means original, there's probably hundreds of AUs with Rhys as Jack's personal assistant, but there's a lot of love going into this story and at the very least, I hope some of you out there enjoy it. Let's be Rhack trash together.

When it came to making possibly some of the _worst_ decisions, Rhys knew that he had a knack for it. Not that he would ever admit it; no, he was trying to make it look like everything he did was on purpose and would have the exact outcome he wanted. Maybe he even fooled himself into believing it sometimes. After all, he _did_ work his way up to his current position in the dog-eat-dog corporate ladder of Hyperion, didn't he? Sure, maybe he stepped on a few toes to get to this point, but it _had_ to be worth it. All the years had to pay off now and push him out of middle management into the forefront of a big promotion

At least, that's what he kept telling himself. And looking at the overly large portrait of his boss, the very CEO of Hyperion and even his idol, Handsome Jack, was only compelling him to keep telling himself that. It'd been a very small window of time, but Jack had been nice enough to give an even playing field for the lower workers to land a promotion, an open promotion, as everyone kept referring to it as. They just had to make the best case possible to Jack as to why they deserved that promotion, hoped and prayed that he wouldn't either just fire or shoot them, and just do the best damn job they could at not looking completely and horribly mortified all the while.

A swallow went down roughly as Rhys' mismatched eyes flickered over the portrait, knowing that a picture could, in no way at all, prepare him for how intimidating of a man Handsome Jack would be. Whether he was lucky or not he'd never had to meet him face to face was yet to be seen, but judging by the butterflies that began wriggling in the pit of his stomach, Rhys guessed he wasn't so lucky. He looked up to Jack, considered him an inspiration, someone he considered an idol, but that didn't mean he wasn't scared shitless by the very thought of meeting this CEO.

Bringing up his flesh hand, Rhys cleared his throat as he straightened his tie, mumbling under his shaky breath, “It'll be okay, Rhys. It'll _all... Be... Fine._ ”

“Are you talking to yourself?”

A sudden high yelp clawed its way out of Rhys' throat as he turned on his heel, the unexpected voice coming from none other than his close friend, Vaughn.

“ **Jesus** ,” Rhys breathed out, his face scrunching up. “ _Don't--_ sneak up on me like that.”

“I wasn't sneaking,” Vaughn countered. “Do I really _look_ like the sneaking kind of person?”

Rhys gave a half shrug, shaking his head as he did so, “I-I don't- don't know, I mean, you're _kind_ of built for sneaking.”

With a raised eyebrow, Vaughn placed both his hands on his hips, “What's that even supposed to mean?”

“Ugh, look, never mind,” Rhys waved the conversation away, “what do you want?”

“I'uhnno,” Vaughn shrugged quickly. “Just saw you kinda zoning out at that Handsome Jack poster, then I heard you talking to yourself, then you told me not to sneak up on you, then I--”

“ _Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah_ ,” Rhys cut in impatiently. “Okay, buddy, I got the rest. It's just, um...”

Trailing off, Rhys turned his head back to look at the slightly-more-intimidating-than-before poster before he looked back to Vaughn with a sigh, “The open promotion's today, man.”

“Ohhh,” Vaughn breathed with recognition, “so _that's_ what that huge line is for. Just thought it was taco Tuesday again.”

“What?!” Rhys exclaimed, eyes widening as he brought his mechanical arm out and faced his palm upward, a beam of light creating a small holoscreen. His eyes immediately went to the time displayed, feeling his entire stomach drop. He was incredibly late. How did he let time slip by so easily?! Cutting the holoscreen off, his shoulders slouched, head dropping as well.

“Ohh, no, no, no, _dammit_ ,” came a whining mumble from Rhys as he realized how pointless it all was now. “It's not even _Tuesday_ , Vaughn, _what the hell._ ”

“It's not?” Vaughn sounded genuinely surprised at that. “Huh. So... What? You just gonna give up? Not even go?”

With a swift sigh, Rhys looked up once more, “How long was the line? Exactly?”

“Couldn't tell,” Vaughn answered bluntly. “Hundred people, maybe more. Wow, a _lot_ of people want that promotion, huh?”

“And you _don't?!_ ” Rhys asked with hints of incredulousness teeming in his tone.

Vaughn just snorted, “What, and give up my job at lining up columns of numbers? Pft, _please_. I happen to be very happy with my job.”

Rhys groaned, scratching the back of his head as a nervous tick, “Whatever. Maybe I won't be dead last... Wanna come with?”

“And stand in a line for _God knows_ how long?” Vaughn asked rhetorically. “No thank you. Besides, the idea of lining up to go into Handsome Jack's office, of all people, is just really... _Unnerving_.”

“Then how the hell do you think _I_ feel?”

Vaughn just tried to give Rhys as encouraging a smile as possible, although it easily fell flat in the encouragement department, “I'll be with you in spirit?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Rhys dismissed him as he stepped past Vaughn, making his way towards the no doubt massive line. “Have fun with your numbers or... _Something._ ”

“I will! I **really** will,” Vaughn responded perhaps a bit too chipper. Rhys just screwed his eyes shut as he shook his head.

 

* * *

 

 

Standing in a slowly moving line was _not_ good for a nervous and wandering mind. Rhys felt like he was going to throw up right then and there, all over the woman in front of him. Which would've been bad considering it looked as though she had just bought the slim-fitting dress.

Over an hour had passed since he'd gotten within the line. At first, it didn't seem so bad, the line looked to be moving fairly quickly. However, as time went on, it got slower. Each minute that passed seemed to drag now and it was driving Rhys insane. Luckily for him, he wasn't the last one to get into the line, but he was certainly at the tail end of it.

His shoes felt like they were digging into his feet which left him shifting his weight quite frequently from one leg to the other. Slender fingers found themselves busy with the fabric of his tie, tightening and loosening it over and over. All in all, he probably _looked_ as frazzled as he  _felt_ , and that fact only compounded all the tumultuous stress and anxiety of it all.

To top it all off like a proverbial cherry, he had little to no idea on how he would present his case. He told himself he'd just be _honest_ , tell Jack all the good work he's done so far for Hyperion, his years of service, and his utter loyalty. As cheesy as it might come out sounding, it seemed like a good plan. But the more he mulled over it, the worse it sounded, and the further back he was pushed into square one.

Rhys took a deep breath as the line moved once more, realizing only then that he was face to face with the large sliding doors of Jack's office. All too soon, he felt the overwhelming pressure compounding itself onto his shoulders without mercy. He could feel his left hand shaking as he willed it to remain steady with his metal hand. Here he thought that he wasn't going to be able to even get into Jack's office yet there it was, not even five feet in front of him.

His eyes trailed over to the side, spotting a masked Hyperion guard. Within his hands was a tightly held Hyperion gun, his body language crying out that he was beyond bored and impatient with the whole situation. Not that Rhys could blame him, God knows how long he had to stand there. Just doing nothing and putting up a presence of authority and enforcement.

The guard seemed to notice Rhys' gaze as he turned to look in his general direction, “The hell you lookin' at?”

“ _Nothing_!” Rhys immediately responded, looking away. “Uh, sorry, nothing.”

The sound of the doors sliding open caught Rhys' attention and he was some parts thankful for ending that awkward moment and other parts dreading what that meant. But that was all dashed away as Handsome Jack himself stepped through the doors. It was everything Rhys wasn't expecting. The short moments that followed, Rhys realized just how much better Jack looked in person than he ever did in any of the posters he'd seen littered around Helios (and in his room). Far better, even.

Well, he was called **_Handsome_ ** Jack for a reason, after all.

“Alright, people,” Jack began as he addressed the small handful of workers left in the line. “That's it for the open promotion, you can all go back to your sad lives, position's taken, yadda yadda, sorry for your loss or.. _whatever_.”

Rhys' heart sunk. He didn't even get the chance to get into Jack's office and now he knew he'd probably _never_ get that promotion. It was almost overshadowed by getting to see Jack standing right before him, something that was a bit of a treat on its own, but he couldn't get past the fact that he'd come so close only to have the door shut right in his face. Metaphorically, anyway.

As the people behind Rhys began walking off, no doubt just as disappointed as Rhys, he felt as though he was glued to that spot. All the nervousness and anxiety within him seemed to dissipate, leaving him much more exhausted than he originally anticipated. It took him a moment or two before he realized Jack was even talking to him.

“Hey, kiddo, are you even _listening?_ ”

Rhys came back to reality as he saw Jack right in front of him, his body stiffening as he responded, “I, uh, s-sorry, I--”

“Actually, y'know what, this is perfect,” Jack settled, reaching forward and clasping a hand onto Rhys' shoulder. “You look like a big dum dum, the kind of dum dum who's _perfect_ for a little job. I mean, you _were_ here for the promotion, weren't you?”

“Well, y-yeah, I--”

“Then _boy_ do I have the promotion for _you_ , cupcake!” Jack flashed a toothy grin at Rhys, making Rhys feel a cross between worried and excited.

What was Rhys to expect? He'd barely said anything to the CEO and Jack was already telling him he had a job for him? He couldn't get that lucky. This was _Handsome Jack_ , he had no doubt that this wasn't the kind of job he was looking for. But it wasn't as though he had any choice in the matter.

With that, Jack turned and began walking back into his office, “Come on, come on, ain't got all day, uh...” Jack trailed off as he stopped and turned to look at Rhys once more. “What's your name?”

Swallowing hard, Rhys stuttered out, “U-uh, Rhys. My name's Rhys.”

“Reeze, Rice, Rhes,” Jack played on his lips, intentionally saying it wrong as he continued forward into his office once more. “Rhys. Well alrighty then, Rhysie buddy, I know I'm probably your idol, you're my biggest fan, and _blah, blah_ , just try not to drool on my floors or-- _whatever_ , have some decency there.”

Tentatively, Rhys followed behind Jack, realizing that he still had his metal hand clasping onto his other hand. He quickly released it, trying to keep his hands steady at his sides. All the while, his eyes wandered about the expansive office, noting that the room certainly didn't lack in any sort of lavishes. No expenses spared, that was for sure. Suddenly Rhys was feeling even more out of place and small as he followed Jack closer towards his desk.

The silence was nearly deafening as Jack climbed the stairs to the landing his desk sat upon before he rounded it and opened a drawer on the other side. Rhys came to a stop as he finally noticed the huge window that looked out onto Elpis, the giant scarred moon of Pandora. It was an incredible view. Of course Jack probably had the best view in the entire Helios station. It would just figure.

“So!” Jack said suddenly and quite loudly as he slammed the drawer shut, a tablet within his hands. The suddenness of Jack's actions and words caused Rhys to jump, perhaps a bit more than he normally would.

“Here's the deal, pumpkin,” Jack went on as he scrolled through the tablet. “I need a new errand boy. Last one decided to get himself vented out an airlock about five minutes ago so let's just say he's a bit _too dead_ for the job. I mean, he was an **idiot** anyway so it's not like it was that big of a loss. Probably floatin' somewhere around Pandora's atmosphere right about now.”

Rhys had to wonder if the whole _getting vented out of an airlock_ was an accident or not. By the way Jack was talking about it, it really seemed unlikely it was just an accident. That made Rhys even more nervous than before.

“Wait,” Rhys finally found his voice. “Wha-- why _me?_ I just came here for the promotion, not for... _This_.”

A pointed eyebrow crawled its way up Jack's forehead as he eyed Rhys, any amusement he might've had on his face disappearing, “Yeah, you came here for a promotion, I'm giving you one. Errand boy. _My_ errand boy, for that matter. What, that not good enough for you, princess?”

Rhys brought his hands up defensively, “N-no! I'm not saying that, I just--”

“You just _what?_ ” Jack demanded as he stepped closer, Rhys backing up in response. “I'm literally handing this job to you on a silver platter and you're gonna turn your nose up at it? Holy shit, talk about _picky_. I could just terminate your employment altogether, y'know. Ter-min-ate. If ya get what I mean.”

“I...” Rhys trailed off, worried to think the worst but he knew exactly what Jack meant.

“It means I could _kill_ you,” Jack said bluntly, stopping in his tracks as he did so. “Jesus, you're slow. Maybe you're dumber than I thought.”

“I'll take the job,” Rhys blurted suddenly, realizing there was really only _one_ way out of this. Besides, being Jack's personal errand boy could be... Good, _right?_ Surely it _had_ to be better than where he was at before he walked into this office.

Jack gave a small laugh, “That's more like it! Beggers can't be choosers, after all. Now, for your first task as Handsome Jack's little errand boy, you get to run this tablet over to the accounting department.”

Pausing, Jack shoved the tablet within his hands towards Rhys which he took gingerly as Jack continued, “You'll need to give that to the head accountant, mister, uh... _Whatshisface._ The ginger with the dumb nose.”

“Kneely? Sir?” Rhys offered carefully as he grasped the tablet within his hands.

“Kneely! Right, right, right, _that_ guy,” Jack nodded. “Y'know, I actually _punched_ that guy in the face once and that's what fucked up his nose. He asked for it though. I mean _literally_ asked for it. Hah, good times... Oh and bring me back some cookies or coffee or shit, I dunno, something. I'm hungry.”

Rhys wasn't exactly sure how coffee would help his hunger but he wouldn't question it, not out loud to Jack, at the very least. With a small nod, Rhys confirmed, “Alright, deliver this to Mr. Kneely, get you cookies or coffee or.. Something. On it, sir.”

“Ah-ah, wait,” Jack stopped Rhys before he could turn away, moving closer towards him without much warning.

Before Rhys could process it, Jack was definitely closer than Rhys had anticipated and his hands were reaching forward. Rhys froze, immediately beginning to think that he was about to be strangled or, worse, have his neck broken. His eyes screwed shut, scared shitless, to say the least.

“The _hell_ you been doing to your tie?” Jack asked, his fingers grasping onto Rhys' tie and straightening it before tightening it.

Slowly, Rhys opened his eyes as he felt Jack tug his tie into a tighter knot, perhaps a bit too tight for Rhys' liking. The sudden closeness made Rhys very aware of Jack's bold presence. Rhys felt like a toothpick that could easily be snapped if Jack wanted and it made Rhys shudder. He was so close for what felt like an eternity, Rhys' wide eyes studying the mask grafted onto his face, the reason for which had always been a mystery to him. But he couldn't ponder it for long.

Finally, Jack pulled back, seemingly pleased with his work at fixing Rhys' tie, “ _There_ , sorry, shit like that bugs me. Now get out of here before I send you out the trap door.”

Rhys wasn't sure he liked the sound of a trap door anymore than standing around to see said trap door, so without another word, he turned on his heel and began walking out. He felt like he couldn't get out of the office quick enough, as though the atmosphere of the large room itself was oppressing his thoughts on everything that had just happened.

The sound of the sliding doors closing couldn't be a more welcome sound to Rhys' ears, a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding escaping his lungs. His hands clutched tightly to the tablet as he took a few careful breaths, his eyes turning over to see the same guard from earlier still there. They made (from what Rhys could guess past the mask) eye contact once again which Rhys quickly looked away and began walking.

His legs went on autopilot towards the accounting division as his mind pondered over everything that had just happened. He'd expected to have gotten a promotion, at the very least plead his case to Jack, but it wasn't even _close_ to the kind of promotion he'd been expecting. Nor did he expect how it would've come about. There was still the niggling thought back in his mind that kept wondering why Jack chose him. It seemed random and, if he was being honest, a little unsettling.

Then again, if he hadn't been in line where he was, then maybe some other poor guy would've gotten roped into this job of being an _errand boy._

Rhys' face scrunched up slightly at the sound of that. It sounded a little demeaning, honestly. He preferred something like personal assistant or vice assistant. Hell, he'd take secretary with little damage to his pride. But _errand boy?_ How the hell would he tell Vaughn? _Yvette?_ Saying it in his _head_ sounded bad enough, but getting his _mouth_ to form those words would probably be worse.

Sighing to himself, Rhys figured that it all could've been worse. He could've never gotten to meet Jack in the first place or got a 'promotion' at all, if this could even be _called_ that. Or Jack could've killed him. That was _definitely_ the worst on the list. But would he even be getting better pay? Better benefits? _'Handsome Jack's errand boy'_ wasn't exactly something that was listed in wanted job ads so it wasn't like he could find that out on his own.

He supposed he'd have to ask Jack about it at some point. For now, however, he had to focus on getting this tablet to Mr. Kneely and finding Jack some lunch. He just hoped he wouldn't screw that up somehow.

 

* * *

 

  
It had, unfortunately, taken more time then Rhys anticipated or wanted to not only find Mr. Kneely, but to go through the line that had formed for late lunch in the cafeteria. It was a wonder that Jack hadn't called yet and started yelling at him. What had only been roughly an hour and a half felt like a damn eternity, each minute that crawled by making Rhys all the more nervous about having to deal with Jack's impatience. Knowing him, he wasn't the most patient nor forgiving man. Not when he was the CEO of Hyperion. Things just tended to happen for him.

Finally, however, he held at least two of each type of cookies the cafeteria offered in one hand, as Rhys didn't know what Jack liked or didn't like, and a hot cup of coffee in his other hand. Rhys felt his legs pulling himself closer towards Jack's office at faster and faster speeds, coming just short of a jog as to not spill any of the coffee.

Unluckily for Rhys, the unexpected force of another body colliding into him sent the coffee and cookies alike tumbling from his secure grasp, the hot liquid spilling all over his light blue shirt and slacks, and the cookies either finding their new home on him or the floor. Mostly the floor.

Rhys screeched at the suddenness of it all, eyes widening as he cursed in pain, “ _Shit!_ Oh my **God** , okay, that's _really, really, really, really-- really hot--!_ ”

“God, Rhys, I'm so... So sorry.”

It took him a moment more to register past the searing pain that he had run smack into his other good friend and coworker, Yvette. It seemed as though she was lucky in avoiding the majority of the spillage, but some of the coffee had definitely found its way onto her yellow and black skirt.

“Gahh,” Rhys groaned, looking down at himself. His shirt and tie were probably ruined at this point, the large brown spot staining itself deeply into his pants as well. “Well then, hello to you too, Yvette.”

So to add to the whole running later than he'd like, Rhys could add some spilled coffee and cookies to the list as well. Part of him tried to reason that Jack would understand once he saw that he was practically _wearing_ his lunch rather than delivering it, but another more realistic part reminded himself that this was Handsome Jack. He could've lost his other damn arm on an errand and Jack probably _still_ wouldn't have cut him any slack.

After a small pause, Rhys crouched down to begin picking up what bits of the cookies he could, not wanting to leave a bigger mess than was necessary. Yvette was quick to help him, piling the bits of cookies onto the platter within Rhys' left hand.

“Why the hell do you have coffee and cookies?” Yvette asked him curiously. “Weird combination for lunch, if you ask me.”

Rhys just sighed as he picked up the last few intact cookies, “I, uh... Got that promotion.”

As they stood once more, Yvette cocked an eyebrow upwards, “Uh-huh, so you're celebrating with... Coffee and... Cookies?”

Again, Rhys' mind floated back to the prospect of explaining that he was Jack's errand boy now, an embarrassing title he didn't really want to have to repeat. So maybe he didn't have to call himself that _exactly_. It wasn't like it would make _that_ big of a difference if he just called himself Jack's PA, they were _synonyms_ , for Christ's sake. Just let him have this much.

“Well, you see, I'm uh... Well, I'm kind of Jack's personal assistant now,” Rhys explained a bit hesitantly, shoulders crawling upward into an awkwardly stiff shrug. He laughed nervously, “Yep, I've been promoted to his personal assistant. And the coffee and cookies were for him. Except not anymore because... I don't think he'd want any of this after it's been on the floor. And on me.”

Yvette crossed her arms, shifting her weight from one leg to the other as she watched him in silent disbelief. She huffed a cautious laugh, “ _No way_. You're pulling my leg.”

Rhys just shook his head, opening his mouth to respond when the distinct sound of Rhys' phone alert pierced through the air. Grimacing and pursing his lips, Rhys offered out the mostly empty cup with his metal hand to Yvette, asking silently for her to hold it. She took the soiled cup without question, watching expectantly as Rhys answered the call.

A second later, the holoscreen projected upward from Rhys' mechanical palm, showing Jack on the other end. _Oh no._ Rhys swallowed roughly. This wasn't good.

“ _Y-yes?_ Jack?” Rhys answered tentatively.

Jack didn't skip a beat before he responded, “What the _hell_ is taking you so long, kid?! You trying to make me starve over here?”

“Sorry, uh, sir,” Rhys began quickly, trying to do as much damage control as possible. “At first I couldn't find Mr. Kneely, and _then_ there was a line in the cafeteria and then, uh... There was an accident and I _might_ have spilled the coffee all over me and the cookies you wanted _might_ have went all on the floor and-- and uh--”

“ _Oh my God_ ,” Jack interrupted with a sigh. “Don't give me the whole sob story, just hurry up.”

And with that, the line went dead, Jack hanging up before Rhys could say another word. Closing his eyes, Rhys took a slow breath before closing his metal palm and shaking his head once more.

“ _Shit_ , you weren't kidding,” Yvette finally said, her expression nothing short of utterly surprised.

As Rhys opened his eyes and studied Yvette, there was a _very_ distinct glance of pity in her eyes. She _actually_ pitied him for this job. As if he didn't feel bad enough about it all, now he realized it was probably much worse than he had even anticipated.

“I've...” Rhys paused, taking the cup back from Yvette before he turned and began walking off. “Got to go get more coffee and cookies. I'll see you later Yvette.”

“Wait,” Yvette called out suddenly, catching Rhys' attention momentarily. “But I'm confused, Rhys. This wasn't the promotion you wanted, was it?”

Rhys pursed his lips momentarily as he looked back to his friend before giving a small sigh, “It's a long story. I'll tell you later. When I'm not in danger of being _shot at_ by Jack.”

 

* * *

 

  
At least there was _one_ saving grace to this day. The barista in the cafeteria was generous and kind enough to give him another order of coffee and cookies without asking for payment, seeing as he had very obviously spilled it all over himself. Which was a blessing, but his clothes were really beginning to grow uncomfortable at this point. Uncomfortable, sticky, and a little too cold for his taste.

Rhys was sure to maneuver his way back to Jack's office carefully and slowly, actually grateful to have made it back without having another accident. Although he'd gotten quite a few looks for having a coffee stained outfit, it was a relatively painless journey back.

Jack's eyes looked up from the paperwork on his desk, his face contorting into amusement, “Well, well, look who _finally_ shows up. First day on the job and you're already covered in coffee and cookie crumbs.” Jack gave a few laughs as he put down his pen. “ _Ohh_ , that's hilarious.”

Rhys repressed the urge to roll his eyes as he sat the coffee and cookies down onto the desk, both unamused at Jack's mocking yet relieved he was doing only that instead of _killing_ him.

“I wasn't sure what kind of cookies you liked best so I just...” Rhys paused, motioning to the multitude of cookies as he stepped back. “Just kind of got all they had. If that's okay.”

Jack raised an eyebrow and grabbed a chocolate chip cookie, taking a quick bite out of it and chewing as he spoke, “Should've just asked, dum dum. It's chocolate chip cookies, by the way. They are _delish._ ”

Tensing up a bit, Rhys responded, “Sorry, I didn't want to bother you.”

More like he didn't want to press any of the wrong buttons. He just didn't know where Jack would stand on a lot of things, how far or how little he could press things. Testing the waters was a tricky business around Handsome Jack.

“I'd rather you ask and get things right than not ask and get it _wrong_ ,” Jack clarified before popping the rest of the cookie into his mouth and chewing it over. He swallowed a moment later before continuing, “Much as I hate boring questions, I hate fuck ups more. _Got that?_ ”

“Got it,” Rhys agreed immediately with a nod of his head. “So can I, uh... Ask you a question, then?”

Jack leaned back in his chair as he grabbed another cookie, nibbling on it and mumbling, “Yeah, shoot, what?”

Out of nervousness, Rhys raised his metal hand to rub at the back of his neck, his eyes averting to the side slightly, “Why did you _really_ choose me for your... Errand boy?”

A pointed eyebrow on Jack's face inched upward, “Thought we went over this. It's not good enough that you've _got_ the job?”

“No!” Rhys immediately tried to recover, bringing both his hands up before him in surrender. “I mean, yes, it's good enough, but no, that's not it at all, I'm just _curious_. Why, out of _all_ the people in that line, or hell, all the people in _Hyperion_ , you gave the job to _me_.”

“Because you look like the type of guy that'll do whatever I say,” Jack said simply, finishing off the cookie and chewing it over.

Rhys' eyebrows furrowed at his response, maybe even growing a little offended at it, “Are you saying I look like a _pushover?_ ”

Swallowing, Jack rubbed his chin in thought for a moment before he nodded with a smirk, “Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much it. That's a good word for it. _Pushover._ ”

Rhys pursed his lips, trying so very, _very_ hard to resist the urge to talk out against that. To argue. To backlash. **_Something_**. His idol had just talked down on him and he wasn't going to lie when he admitted to himself that it definitely _didn't_ feel great.

“ _You're wrong.._.” Rhys mumbled, a little taken aback that it had even escaped his lips in the first place. And now, he was mortified as he saw Jack's face lose any sort of humor it once held.

Jack leaned forward onto his desk, watching Rhys with his mismatched eyes intently, “ _What_ was that?”

**_Oh shit._** If only Rhys had kept his mouth shut and just accepted that he got chosen, for whatever reason, and just went about his day. If only he didn't get into that line in the first place. Crossing his arms, Rhys quickly responded, “Nothing, sir.”

“No, no, I think you back talked me, Rhysie,” Jack went on, not daring to just let it drop. “Come on, what did you say, _say it louder._ ”

He had to just bite the bullet and get this over with, “I said you're wrong. I'm _not_ a pushover.”

Suddenly, Jack just laughed, mixing the tense atmosphere and confusing Rhys, even. Was he not... _Mad?_ He somehow found it _funny?_ That didn't help for Rhys. Not one bit.

“Yeah, that's what I thought you said,” Jack finally settled. “You think I'm wrong about you?”

Rhys knew it wasn't the best idea to even begin arguing with Jack over this. After all, this was his boss, the man he'd looked up to for years, and here he was arguing with him? Then again, he'd already lost whatever dignity he had that day by having coffee and cookies drenched all over him. He didn't really want to suffer anymore dents in that department.

“I do,” Rhys nodded stiffly, his tone nervous. “I'm not a pushover.”

The sudden sound of Jack's chair being rolled back filled the office as Jack stood from it, making his way around the large desk and towards Rhys. Rhys took a few steps back, nearly stumbling down the steps that surrounded the landing upon which his desk sat. Now he was starting to regret saying anything at all as Jack closed the distance between them. It was easy to be brave when Jack wasn't right in his face.

“You wanna _bet_ on that, princess?” Jack asked with a tilted head, expression muddled between entertained and mischievous. It wasn't a combination that Rhys was sure he liked.

Rhys stood with his hands still slightly up, trying to keep whatever distance he could between the two, “N-n-not r-really, um.. Wh-why?”

Rhys thought he couldn't get any closer. But he was wrong. Jack reached forward, grasping onto Rhys' neck with his large hand and wrapping his fingers around it. It wasn't tight but it was firm, enough so that Rhys realized that this could be it. That this was the end, this would be it for him and he was going to be strangled to death by Handsome Jack. Forget having survived living on Pandora as a child, forget climbing the corporate ladder of Hyperion, it all amounted to being strangled as Handsome Jack's _errand boy._

But he was still breathing, whether he realized it or not, and Jack's face was mere inches away from his own. Jack smirked.

“Well that's good because it looks like you're about to _lose_ that bet,” Jack whispered roughly before he was closing the distance between their faces and engulfing Rhys' lips into his own.

It was an incredibly odd turn of events, so out of left field, it left Rhys wide-eyed and astonished that Handsome Jack, of all people, was kissing him. And it wasn't just a peck, it wasn't just some touch and go, Jack was suckling on his lips, kissing him without any indication he was going to stop.

Rhys' first instinct was to pull away, of course. But he couldn't get his body to move, he remained in place with staring eyes and an ever growing blush on his cheeks. It took only a moment more before he was accepting it, distantly aware that he was even starting to lean into the kiss.

_What the hell was he doing?_

Without warning, Jack pulled away, a shit-eating grin staining his features, like he was enjoying some sort of inside joke that Rhys wasn't in on. Stunned didn't even begin to describe how Rhys was feeling right then and he absolutely didn't want to admit to himself that he may have even enjoyed that. But he didn't want to begin thinking about that, his blush already felt severe enough.

“See?” Jack chuckled. “You just _let_ that happen. I think I made my point clear.”

Rhys just swallowed hard before he looked away, completely embarrassed and realizing he did that all just to prove a point, “Wh-what-- _what the hell was I supposed to do?!_ ”

Another laugh tumbled from Jack's lips as he finally stepped away from Rhys, letting go of his throat as he walked back over to his chair, “Alright, alright, alright, you want to know the real reason I picked you?” Jack asked as he settled back into his chair.

Rhys continued to keep his away averted from Jack, as though it might make the situation less awkward, “Y-yeah.”

“I picked you because you were literally the next person in line,” Jack said bluntly, his palms facing upward as he shrugged slightly. “So stop getting your undies in a bunch about it, kiddo. I'm _screwin'_ with you.”

“O-oh, um...” Rhys finally looked over to Jack, his hand finding its place at the back of his head and scratching absently. “I, uh... _Don't_ know how to respond to that...”

Picking his pen back up, Jack looked back down to his desk as he seemed to resume what he was doing before, his free hand waving at Rhys, “Now get the hell out of my office and get a friggin' change of clothes, for God's sake. You look sad with that coffee stain on you. I'll call you if I need you.”

Rhys remained silent for a moment or two before he finally responded, “Yes, sir...”

Not wanting to linger in that spot any longer, Rhys turned and walked towards the large sliding doors. His head felt cloudy and unsure after what just happened back there. In fact, he was starting to wonder if that actually happened at all. That maybe there was some kind of contact-drugs in that coffee that had spilled on him and he'd absorbed the chemicals into his brain and it was making him imagine things.

_Nah._

Overall, Rhys couldn't tell what Jack was thinking at all back there. It was hard to read the man, whether he was being serious about one thing or another. And the kiss... Rhys could feel his blush returning as his mind lingered on it.

Admittedly, Rhys had always found Handsome Jack, well... _Handsome_. He'd been over it quite a few times that the man was easily attractive. Did he have a bit of a crush on him when he was younger? Maybe. Were the posters he had of Jack more than just because he admired his work? Also maybe. But that was a fact that he tried to keep mostly to himself. Nonetheless, all that didn't change how surprising or weird of a situation that was.

Jack killed people and wasn't the nicest person to ever grace Hyperion or, hell, the universe. But instead of killing or hurting him, Jack gave him this new job and _kissed him?_ Either there was an impostor in Jack's office or that coffee really _was_ laced with some hallucinogenic drugs.

As Rhys stepped out from the office, the same guard from before had seemed to return from what was no doubt his lunch break. His attention was immediately caught by Rhys as the office doors closed behind him, the sound of snickering coming from within the man's helmet.

“Nice shirt,” the guard commented, his words dripping with sarcasm.

Rhys simply turned to glare at him before saying, “Yeah, well, nice... Helmet.”

“ _Really?_ ” the guard deadpanned. “ **That's** the best you got?”

Rhys didn't hesitate for a second before his rebuttal, “Your helmet's dumb.”

The guard shook his head, “Don't make me hit you, _errand boy._ ”

That got Rhys to purse his lips together in something caught between a scowl and a pout. He huffed a breath.

“Okay!” Rhys conceded as he stepped away slightly, hands coming up in a gesture of defense. “Okay, I'm leaving. _Yeesh._ ”

Pursing his lips once more, Rhys began to walk off, away from the guard, away from Jack's office, away from _everything_. All that was on his mind now was heading back to his apartment to shower, change, and try to forget anything embarrassing or awkward ever happened today.

 


End file.
